HOW TO EMBRACE YOUR SINGLENESS THIS YEAR
In our current culture today, we tend to romanticize relationships and stigmatize singleness. Especially in my age range of young 20-somethings, it seems like every other day that we are asked, “Now, are you seeing anyone?”
For all you single ladies out there this Valentine’s Day, I believe it’s time we take ownership of the time we get to be single (yes, I am saying that being single is a good thing!) and enjoy this season that we are currently living in.
Here are five ways to embrace your singleness this year!
1. Learn to Love the Life You’re Living
This all begins with realizing that the life you create for yourself while you’re single is the same one you will bring into any of your future relationships. The time to learn more about who you are and work towards being the best version of yourself is before, not after, you enter into a serious relationship!
My advice to any single girl out there is to be spontaneous! Book the trip with your friends, buy the car you’ve always wanted, and do that one reckless thing you’ll always remember but never share with your future kids. Because I have found that it is in the most uncomfortable and unfamiliar moments that we tend to grow the most (and actually enjoy what we’re doing!). Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that, “To every thing, there is a season and a time for every activity under heaven” and we may never have this special time of singleness again.
2. Take Time to Pursue Your Own Passions
For us single women, we have been blessed with the time to pursue our own passions and chase after the things that set our souls on fire. Take advantage of the moments you have to explore and try new things, determine your likes and dislikes, and figure out what your main priorities in life are!
Over the years, I have become increasingly passionate about investing in the next generation and empowering young women to step boldly into the calling that God has placed on their life. This desire wasn’t built out of a place of pride, but rather a time of pruning and reflection on the areas of my life the Lord had used to mature me the most. Taking the time to pursue your own passions will not only allow you to discover more of your unique purpose, but also find creative ways to connect with other people as well.
3. Practice Self-Care and Invest in Yourself
Practicing self-care in your everyday life does not just mean taking hot baths and putting on luxurious face masks every night. It stretches far beyond simply polishing the exterior and focuses on enhancing the interior. Because let’s be honest, we can be pretty hard on ourselves sometimes!
While you are single and have greater control over the way in which you spend your time, it is so important that you make an effort to consciously look after your physical body and mental health. Get outside for a little bit throughout the week, allow your thoughts to run freely, and take the time to exercise your mind, body, and spirit. But make sure you’re doing it for you and not anybody else!
4. Build Community with Other Singles
If there is one thing I have been most thankful for throughout my season of singleness, it is the depth and breadth of relationships I have forged with friends and older women. Nothing is better than spending time in community with others who will encourage you on your worst days and remind you that you’re not walking through this life alone!
Since graduating from college, I have proactively sought out relationships with people I admire who exemplify wisdom and discernment in both their personal and professional lives. In meeting with them on a consistent basis, I have been so encouraged by their unshakable faith and the obvious anointing that God has placed on their life. If you have only surrounded yourself with people your age, I adjure you to meet up with people from various generations and see how your perspective on life will change! [Pro tip: If you connect with someone you really respect and aspire to emulate in your everyday life, don’t be afraid to ask them to step into the role of a mentor in your life!]
5. Let Go and Let God
Finally, I think it is extremely vital to remember that in life, marriage is not the end goal. Whether you are currently being pursued by someone or not, what really matters at the end of the day is who you are and whose you are. Ultimately, our identity does not come from a friendship, relationship, or marriage, but who God says we are.
Don’t get me wrong, it is perfectly acceptable (and even good!) to desire a joy-filled marriage in the future, but we should be careful not to idolize it. Today, be reminded of this – God is actually blessing you with this time to enjoy being single and grow in your relationship with Him. One day, your life will be filled with so many other roles and responsibilities and I hope you will be able to look back fondly on the way you chose to live out your season of singleness.
