LEARNING TO LEAD WITH YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF

There’s just something about the sense of freedom that comes from feeling like you can be your genuine, real, and authentic self. Even more so, there is something to be said of the deep connection that forms when you are able to share your personal experiences with someone who accepts you exactly the way you are.

I know what you’re thinking… it sounds like I’m talking about relationships here (cue eye roll). But in a sense I am! There is no relationship more important than the one you share with God, who already knows everything about you, and yourself, who you are slowly learning more and more about every single day.

The way you feel about yourself fuels every interaction you have with others throughout the day

In college, I cared so much about what other people thought about me and the picture I was trying to portray of myself that everything I did seemed to have a double filter on it. (Let’s be real, I definitely still struggle with this today.) I could easily talk about the things that were going well in my life but I wanted to hide everything that was going wrong.

But I couldn’t keep up with this facade forever. After graduating from college, the transition from a safe and uncomplicated routine (i.e. class, study, sleep, repeat) to holding down a professional career as a young-adult was analogous to being hit by a MAC truck. It sounds dramatic, but it was so true! I simply was not prepared for the reality of constantly comparing myself to other recent graduates and feeling completely unfulfilled and dissatisfied with my life. And worse, I was struck with the harsh reality that I had surrounded myself with surface-level relationships and no one who knew the real me.

Leading with your authentic self really has nothing to do with performance

It wasn’t until I walked through some really challenging seasons in my life that I prioritized investing in relationships with people who knew the darkest parts of my story and chose to walk through my journey with me anyway. (Don’t worry, you’ll read a lot more detail about what I’m talking about in future posts.) At first, it was so scary to tell the truth and share what I felt was a secret for so long. In the words of Cady Heron herself, it felt like word vomit.

People aren’t attracted to perceived perfection, but rather transparency and authenticity

Instead of being met with judgment and contempt, I was overwhelmed with grace, empathy, and the assured freedom that came from finally speaking my truth to someone else. Even more surprising was how talking openly about my struggles opened the door for my friends to share what they were battling at the moment too. While sharing my story with the people closest to me, I had somehow also learned so much more about them too! Because let’s be honest, we are all walking through something right now and would share it openly with others if we weren’t so afraid of how the world was going to respond…

Understanding myself and learning to be thankful, rather than hateful, for the difficult times in my life that have refined me into a more strong, confident, and resilient woman has helped me to see others through a more positive and gracious lens as well. I no longer see someone else’s life and imagine it to be perfect simply because of the way I also used to attempt to portray that same reality of myself. And on the opposite side of the spectrum, instead of jumping to conclusions and making assumptions of someone else (which I think we are all guilty of doing), I am able to step into their shoes and think about what they could possibly be walking through today. Sometimes, I even find myself extending more grace toward the ones that remind me of who I used to be not too long ago. I know I needed SO much grace on my toughest day and I want to share what I overabundantly received with others as well.

Sometimes the way we think of ourselves is the same way we tend to think of God

Finally, I want to encourage you with this: God doesn’t see you the same way you see yourself and you shouldn’t look at Him the same way you look at anybody else! As much as we try, no one can describe who God is or the depth of his love for us because we are so limited by our own human understanding. Nothing we do, say, think, or hide is hidden from the Lord and yet He loves us anyway. Just let that sink in for a second.

Through my own experiences, I have learned of His unrelenting grace for me and my journey to share all of the broken parts of my life in the hopes that it will bring the focus off of myself and onto my savior. I am committed to leading with my authentic self in 2021, which includes sharing my faith unequivocally and unashamed with others not only through what I say but in what I do and how I live my life.

If you’re new here, I am too! Thank you so much for reading my first blog post! How have you been challenged to live with more authenticity this year?